


Jackson

by SugdenLovesDingle



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 06:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugdenLovesDingle/pseuds/SugdenLovesDingle
Summary: Aaron finds out Jackson's body is being exhumed and moved to the other side of the country
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 16
Kudos: 133





	Jackson

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea from watching Harriet's never ending Malone drama (Malone is the dirty cop Dawn killed in self defence last summer. They dumped his body in with another dead guy but then that person was being exhumed because their family wanted them closer) and I started thinking about what it would be like if it was Jackson's body instead of some randomer - and no Malone/Harriet drama.
> 
> full disclosure though - I've never watched a single scene with Hazel or Aaron and Jackson and all I know about them/that time is from gifs, other fics, and the Emmerdale wiki. So if Hazel is *wildly* out of character, let's just say she changed a lot since she's been away.

“So don’t say anything alright. It’s for the best. We agreed.” Chas told Cain as she put his drink on the bar in front of him.

“Who is we?”

“Me and Pads. And Hazel. Jackson’s mum.”

“She’s in the village?”

“Yeah she came in here earlier looking for Aaron. But we had a talk and decided it’s best to let the past be the past.”

Cain frowned.

“What if he runs into her? The village isn’t that big.”

“He won't. She said she'd stay out of his way. It's for the best. Really.” Chas decided.

Cain sighed and rubbed his temple.

“Don't you think he's going to notice when they start digging up the place in a few days?”

“He won't know it's Jackson. It'll be fine.”

“He'll want to say goodbye.”

“He did that. It's not like he is ever up there anymore, is he?”

“How do you know? Don't you still go see Grace?”

“That's different.” Chas protested.

“How?”

Before Chas got the chance to answer Cain’s question, the door opened and Aaron walked in with Seb on his hip, followed by Robert manoeuvring a pram into the pub.

“Hello love.” Chas greeted him. “How are you all today?”

“Sleep deprived.” Robert replied, settling in at a table and taking Ruby out of her pram. “She kept us up half the night.”

“Is she alright?” Chas asked Aaron. “Eve used to get bad cramps when she was that little.”

“She’s fine. She just… didn’t want to sleep. She’d been fed and changed, we turned the radio on for her, and her nightlight… but she was just… wide awake. Until we put her in our bed.”

Chas frowned.

“You shouldn’t do that, love, you’ll spoil her. She’ll never sleep in her own bed that way.”

“I think we’ll be fine after just one night, Chas.” Robert cut in.

“Well don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Chas told them and turned her attention to Seb who was standing on a barstool with Aaron holding onto him tightly. “And what can I get you, sir?” she joked and Seb giggled.

“We’re having an emergency.” Aaron explained. “We’re out of choccy milk at home, aren’t we Seb?”

The boy nodded.

“Well, good thing you can always count on your nana to help then.” Chas smiled and turned around to get Seb his drink.

“And an orange juice for me and Rob.”

“Make mine a coke. I could do with the caffeine.” Robert called out.

“So much for cutting down on caffeine.” Aaron mumbled under his breath and gave his mother a grin.

“Just sit down, I’ll bring it over in a minute.”

“Cheers mum.” Aaron said and lifted Seb off the barstool and the two of them joined Robert and Ruby at their table.

Chas smiled as she watched them.

“Look at him.” She said to Cain. “He’s happy now. He doesn’t need the upset.”

“Don’t you think he should be the judge of that?”

Chas gave him a pointed stare.

“Leave it Cain. I mean it.”

Cain rolled his eyes at his sister but kept quiet.

He watched Aaron and Robert with their kids, watched Robert pass Ruby to Aaron so he could have his drink when Chas brought it over, watched Aaron attempt to rock her to sleep in his arms, and watched the both of them help Seb with the straws in his chocolate milk.

Chas was right, Aaron was happy, but it still didn’t sit right with Cain that she wanted to keep something like this from him. He finished his drink and made a decision.

“Aaron can you give me a hand at the garage tomorrow?” he asked, walking up to Aaron and Robert’s table.

Aaron frowned.

“Why? Don't you have Dan for that?”

“Dan is still on part time because of his back and Debs is still up in Scotland.” Cain explained. “I'll pay you. I figured you could do with the extra cash with this little one around now.” He stroked Ruby's cheek.

“Fine.” Aaron sighed. “But I'm not starting at 8am. I want a lie in.”

“With a new-born in the house? Good luck with that.” Cain snorted. “See you at 10 then.”

The next morning Aaron showed up at the garage a few minutes to ten, with two cups of coffee from the café.

“I made a quick stop.” He handed Cain one of the coffees. “Dropped Seb off at the King’s so Rob and Ruby could have a nap together. I don’t know how she does it but she’s slept about 4 hours the past week. Whoever said babies sleep a lot has never met my daughter.” He joked. “So what do you need me for?”

Cain put him to work on a car that wasn’t due until the end of the week, while he got caught up on some paperwork before getting to work on Moira’s old Jeep he’d had stored away at the garage for months.

“So… how’s things?” Cain started and Aaron gave him a frown as he looked up from his work.

“How’s things? With this car…?”

“No… just… in general.”

Aaron gave him a slow nod.

“Things are… good… in general… despite my daughter never sleeping…”

“Right, right. Good. That’s good.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because you’re being weird.”

“I’m not being weird. I’m just making conversation. Why is that weird?”

“Because you’re you…” Aaron put his tools down and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What’s going on? And don’t say you needed help. I saw the schedule. This car isn’t due until the 23rd.”

Cain sighed.

“Fine. Sit down, I need to talk to you.”

Aaron frowned.

“I’m alright. Just tell me.”

Cain pinched the bridge of his nose. Why did everyone insist on making his life as difficult as possible?

“I was talking to your mum yesterday and well… she doesn’t think you should know but I think you should decide for yourself.”

“Decide what?”

“They’re digging up Jackson’s body at the end of the week. His mum is moving him down south.”

Aaron blinked a few times, trying to get his mind to process what Cain just told him.

“They… What?”

“Hazel’s in the village… she was in the pub the other day apparently looking for you… but your mum thought it was best to keep you out of it.”

Aaron frowned.

“Why would she do that?”

“Because…” Cain started “She thinks it’s better to not drag up the past.”

“Better? For who? Me? Or her?”

“Look, mate, I just thought you should know, and now you do… so do with the information what you will, yeah.”

“Hazel is in the village?” Aaron asked, his mind still working through what Cain just told him.

“Yeah. B&B probably.”

“Right.”

“When…” Aaron started but paused to clear his throat. “When is… it happening? Do you know?”

Cain shrugged.

“All your mum said was end of the week. Maybe ask Harriet. Or whatshisname… your new neighbour. The new vicar.”

“Charles.”

“Yeah.”

Aaron nodded.

“Right. Thanks for telling me.”

“Why don’t you go home. I can manage here. I’ll pay you for the full day.” Cain offered.

Aaron just nodded and left without arguing, leaving Cain to wonder whether or not he just made a terrible mistake.

When Aaron shuffled into the mill some time later, the house was quiet and Robert was asleep on the sofa with Ruby on his chest. Miraculously also asleep. Aaron smiled at the sight and took his phone out of his pocket to snap a quick picture. He decided to let them sleep and went into the kitchen to make himself some tea. If only to give himself something to do.

He went through the motions on auto pilot and sat down at the kitchen table, warming his hands on the mug, trying to make sense of the thoughts and feelings running through his mind.

Jackson had been such an important part of his life. His first kiss with a boy, his first proper boyfriend, the first person that ever said ‘I love you’ to him other than his mum (even though back then ‘I love you’ wasn’t very likely to have passed Chas’ lips), and despite how it ended, they’d had some good times together.

His mind drifted to his phone and he opened his camera roll. It was filled with photos of his family. The picture with Seb from their wedding he still used as lock screen and wallpaper, lots of pictures of little Ruby, some pictures of Robert when he wasn’t looking, and some videos that would never see the light of day as far as he was concerned.

He tried to imagine Jackson in any of the situations. A romantic home cooked meal for two, laughing together while decorating the house for the holidays, a shoulder to cry on when things got tough, or Robert ♥ Aaron spelled out in magnets on the fridge on their anniversary. Could he have had that with Jackson?

Over on the sofa Robert began to slowly wake up. Aaron watched him carefully sit up, both hands protectively cradling Ruby’s tiny body, and glancing bleary eyed around the room. He could tell the second he noticed him because a sleepy smile spread over his face.

“Hey you. I didn’t think you’d be back yet.” Robert said, moving Ruby in his arms to check the time on his watch. “Shit! I didn’t mean to sleep that long.” He got up and put a thankfully still sleeping Ruby down on the sofa, placing a few of the cushions around her so she couldn’t roll off, and made his way over to Aaron. He leaned down for a kiss. “Have you been back long?”

Aaron shrugged.

“A while. I figured I’d let you two catch up on your beauty sleep.”

“Appreciated.” Robert said with a chuckle. “So how did you get on at the garage? Still got the magic touch?”

“It was alright. Cain let me off early. Wasn’t that busy after all.” Aaron told him, staring at his now cold tea. “He said he’d pay me for the full day though… so that’s good.”

“Hmm.” Robert sat down at the table. “And what else happened that is bothering you?” he asked. “And don’t say nothing because I know you, and it’s written all over your face.”

A smile tugged at Aaron’s lips. Robert really could read him like a book.

“It’s Jackson.”

“Jackson?”

“Jackson Walsh. My first boyfriend who died Jackson.”

“What about him?”

“He’s being moved.”

“Moved? Moved where?”

Aaron shrugged.

“Cain told me earlier. Hazel is in town and she’s taking him with her when she leaves.”

“Oh. Did you talk to her?”

“No… she went to the pub to look for me… but my mum thought it was best if she kept me out of it… Cain disagreed.”

“Thank god for Cain Dingle…” Robert muttered. “So… what now?”

“What now? What do you mean?”

“I mean… do you want to go see her? Or him? Do you want me to go with or leave you to it?”

“I… I don’t know.” Aaron ran a hand over his face. “It all feels like a lifetime ago. Like it happened to someone else.”

Robert nodded.

“You don’t have to say or do anything you don’t want. If you don’t want to see her or him, that’s your choice. You have to do what’s right for you. Not what you think people expect of you.” He reached out and grabbed Aaron’s hand on the table and gave it a squeeze. “Whatever you decide, I’m here for you.”

Aaron wasn’t sure what to say to that, so instead he leaned forward and kissed Robert.

The next few days, Aaron was on high alert every time he left the house. After a quick conversation with Charles (that had left the poor man utterly confused) he’d found out the exhumation was planned for the coming Friday.

He knew Hazel was in town and he’d seen her from a distance a few times, but every time she’d come close to seeing him, he’d ducked into the café or the shop. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her, he just wasn’t sure if he did either.

By Thursday the stress and anxiety nearly had him jumping out of his skin. He’d made Ruby cry, snapped at Seb (and apologised right away because he felt bad), picked fights with Robert and Liv, and fired Vinny at least twice every day. And after all that, he still wasn’t sure what to do about Jackson and Hazel.

“I was thinking of going to see my mum later.” Robert said, trying to sound casual while they were having breakfast. “Put some fresh flowers down and introduce Rubes to her. It’s a bit naff but… you know.” He shrugged. “Do you want to come along?”

“It’s not naff.” Aaron insisted, pressing a kiss to the top of Robert’s head in passing. “I’ll come along… I’ve got some things to sort out there anyway.” He said and decided to ignore the knowing smile on his husband’s face.

Later that day, the four of them made their way over to the cemetery. They’d tried to drop Seb off at the farm to play with Isaac, but the little boy had insisted on coming along, despite both of his parents telling him they weren’t going to do anything fun.

As they walked up the path, and Aaron dutifully followed Robert to Sarah’s grave, he couldn’t help but keep glancing at where he knew Jackson was buried.

“Rob…” He touched his elbow to get the other man’s attention. “I think I’m going to…” he nodded in the direction of Jackson’s grave.

“Alright. We’ll be here if you need us.”

After a quick kiss goodbye, he walked the all too familiar path to Jackson’s grave. He reckoned he could probably find it in his sleep.

He hadn’t been to see him in a while and felt kind of guilty for it. He’d been busy living his life and visiting Jackson had kind of slipped to the back of his mind.

_Jackson Walsh_

_Loving son & boyfriend_

Aaron read the words over and over. It felt strange to think of Jackson as his boyfriend now. So much had happened in the almost 10 years since he’d died, Aaron wondered if Jackson would even still recognise him if he was alive today.

“Aaron? Aaron Livesy, I thought it was you! I never thought I’d see you here!”

Aaron turned around but was pulled into a hug before he’d even had time to process who was talking to him.

“Hazel… hi…” he stammered when he was released.

“Hello love. It’s so good to see you. I stopped by the pub earlier this week. I figured I’d find you there when I saw your mum’s name above the door.”

“No I uh live down the road. Mill cottage.”

“Oh you’ve got your own place now? Good for you. A young man like you needs a bachelor pad.” Hazel said and focused on the headstone. “Maybe if things had been different it would have been your and Jackson’s house. With a spare room for the mother in law of course!” she said and bumped her shoulder against Aaron's.

“Yeah… who knows…”

“So how have you been? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. You look well. All grown up. Little Aaron Livesy grew up!”

Aaron nodded and gave her a small smile as she rambled on about anything from the weather to the price of a coffee in the café, while he tried to figure out how to tell her the mill was anything but a bachelor pad and his name wasn’t Livesy anymore.

“So then I ended up in Cardiff and got a job teaching art at a local school, and you know what, the science teacher, well he was a good one you know. His name is Kenneth and he has three daughters. We live just outside the city.”

“You’re not with Joe anymore?”

Hazel gave him a sad smile.

“No. After Jackson’s death… well… things went south for us. It took me a long time to even think of living again. And Joe… well… he wanted to live.”

Aaron nodded. He’d felt the same. He’d been lost in his grief and barely lived. Until he met Robert. Robert who’d made him feel alive in ways he hadn’t in a long time.

“But enough about me. Tell me about you. I’ve tried looking you up on Facebook but you’re not on there, are you? Is social media not your thing?”

Aaron shrugged and thought of the Aaron Sugden-Dingle Instagram account Robert and Liv had convinced him to create. He’d posted some pictures of Robert and Seb and a birth announcement for Ruby just a few days ago.

“I know, it’s a slippery slope and all that.” Hazel joked. “But it’s nice to keep in touch with everyone. And the games are fun.” She laughed.

“Yeah I suppose so.” Aaron agreed. He was nervous and had started playing with his wedding ring, which Hazel had noticed.

“Oh you have a nice bit of bling there love. I didn’t have you down as the type for jewellery though.”

“I’m not…” Aaron looked down at his hand and took a deep breath. “It’s my wedding ring. I’m married.” He gave her a nervous smile, unsure how she would react.

“Oh. I didn’t expect that either.” Hazel admitted. “Aaron Livesy a married man. Well I never.”

“Yeah… I didn’t think I was the marrying kind either… until he asked me… and now here we are. Four years and counting.”

“Four years?”

Aaron nodded.

“Legally three in October. We had a commitment ceremony in the pub first and then made it legal a year and a half later.” He explained, leaving out some details.

“Well… congratulations. Who is the lucky guy that gets to call himself mister Aaron Livesy?”

Aaron grabbed his phone and showed her his and Robert’s wedding picture.

“His name is Robert. Victoria and Andy’s brother actually. Do you remember them?”

Hazel smiled and nodded.

“I think so.”

Aaron scrolled through his camera roll to show her more wedding pictures. Hazel stepped closer and looked over his shoulder.

“Wait, who is that?” She asked, looking at an older picture of Seb in his highchair, munching on a piece of toast, face covered in chocolate.

“That… that’s my son. Sebastian. Though we usually call him Seb. He’s three. Turning four in November.”

“A husband and a son? Of all the things I’d imagined for you, those were not on the list.” Hazel commented. Thankfully she only looked surprised and not upset or angry, which gave Aaron the courage to drop the last bombshell.

“And a daughter actually.” He pulled up a picture of Ruby. “Her name is Ruby. She’s almost a month old… and she’s the light of my life. All three of them are.”

“Well… I’m happy you’re happy.” Hazel settled on. “And I’m sure Jackson would be too.”

“You think so?” Aaron asked, turning his attention back to the headstone. “Sometimes I almost feel like I’m betraying him by moving on and living my life.”

“Don’t be silly.” Hazel pulled him into a hug. “I know my son and I know he’d want you to live your life to the fullest.”

Aaron nodded and swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“Do you still come see him here?” Hazel asked after a few minutes.

“Sometimes. I try to go on his birthday and the day he died.” Aaron told her. “I used to bring a couple of cans and leave him one instead of flowers… but kids started nicking them. Free booze.” He chuckled. “It’s going to be weird not having him here anymore.” he added, turning serious.

“I’m sorry. I know you love him… but I just want him closer. He’s my boy and I miss him.”

“I know. I understand. It’s just… he was such a big part of my life. Such an important part. I don’t think I’d be where I am today if it wasn’t for him.” Aaron paused. “And he was always just down the road. Here when I needed to clear my head and talk to him or just wanted to be near him when I missed him. And now there’s only going to be an empty lot.”

“Oh sweetheart… you’re always welcome in Cardiff to come visit. I’ll always have a bed for you if and when you want it.” Hazel promised.

“Thanks… but… it’s ok. I understand why you’re moving him… it’s ok.” Aaron said and stepped forward to touch the headstone. “Thanks for everything. I’ll never forget you, I promise.”

Suddenly a tiny blond menace interrupted the moment by running towards them and hurling himself at Aaron.

“Daddy!” Seb yelled and Aaron picked him up. “Hey you, where’s your dad? I thought I left you with him?”

“Daddy’s sad.”

“He’s not going to get less sad if you run away from him.” Aaron reasoned. “He’ll be wondering where you are, won’t he?”

Seb bit his lip, realising he did something wrong but not quite wanting to admit it.

In the distance Aaron could see Robert trying to run across the cemetery with Ruby in her pram.

“Rob, I’ve got him! It’s ok!” he called out and Robert slowed down somewhat.

Seb suddenly noticed the strange woman looking at him and his dad and got shy, hiding his face in Aaron’s neck.

“Hey, don’t you want to say hello to my friend Hazel?” Aaron asked him but got no reply. He dropped a kiss in his hair and turned to Hazel. “Sorry about that. This is my son Seb. And he’s normally not this shy.”

Hazel smiled.

“That’s ok. You stay close to your daddy.”

Seb turned his head slightly to look at her.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Hazel.”

“She’s the mummy of someone who was very important to me once.”

“Not anymore?” Seb asked, picking up in the past tense in his father’s explanation.

“No he still is. It’s just different now. It’s like nanny Sarah and nanny Pat, or your mummy.”

Seb looked up at the sky.

“In heaven?”

“Yeah, in heaven.”

At that moment Robert caught up with them.

“Sorry, he got away from me. He just took off and this thing is far less manageable than you’d think.” He gestured at the pram.

“It’s fine.” Aaron assured him. “I was just introducing him to Hazel and telling him about Jackson in heaven, like his mummy.”

“You must be the husband.” Hazel stepped forward and extended her hand. “Robert, right? I knew your brother and sister.”

“Uh yes… hi. Robert Sugden-Dingle.” He shook her hand. “And this is Ruby.”

Hazel looked into the pram and smiled.

“Oh Aaron, she’s gorgeous.”

“I know.” Aaron beamed. “Who knew a girl could be the love of my life after all.” He joked.

“Do you want to come back to ours for a brew?” Robert offered. “So you two can sit down and catch up?”

“Maybe another time. I have some things to do for tomorrow. I need to make sure everything is ready for my boy in his new spot.” Hazel said and turned to Aaron. “It was good seeing you again, sweetheart. Take care of yourself.”

Aaron nodded.

“You too.” He touched Jackson’s headstone. “And you.”

“Daddy, I want to go home.” Seb whined.

“Yeah alright mate, we’re going home.” Aaron agreed. “Say goodbye to my friend Hazel now.” He said and Seb dutifully waved at her. “We live in Mill cottage. Flat 1. Feel free to stop by for that cuppa before you leave.”

Hazel smiled and nodded and watched the four of them walk away.

“Are you alright?” Robert asked softly as they made their way home.

“Yeah. I think I am.”

The next day, Aaron was on his way home from his run when he saw a large excavator in the cemetery tearing up the soil. Despite the screens the crew had put up, it was still obvious what they were doing.

He stopped to watch them work for a few minutes.

“Goodbye Jackson.”


End file.
